Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Hear Me Out?

I'd left a familiar stranger at the same cross road where I am today. I can feel his presence around me somewhere, or maybe it's wishful thinking. I can still explain the latter, because I want him to know that I finally am aware of how it feels to be misunderstood, to have our intentions misread to the point that every bit of innocence and good that we have in them is forcefully blackened and rubbed onto our wounds that they say we inflicted on ourselves. What scares me the most is that I never wanted to be like him, never wanted to think the way he did, never wanted to be blind like he was. But now, I realize that there's more to it than just that. It's not about being blind, it's about not being able to look in the right direction, to hear the right things or find the right meanings. I've tried to never make the same mistakes, but for a reason I may never be able to comprehend, I find myself ending up battered and bruised, even when I've done the right thing and said the right words.

I've come to realize that best things in life come along with a lot of sacrifice. There will come a time when you will realize that you have let go of your ego so much that you can't decided whether it was the ego you  compromised on or the dignity, pushed your levels of tolerance to the point that you can't tell what frustrates you more-your helplessness, your anger at being wronged, or that you didn't let go before. One day, because of that ONE thing, you won't be able to tell what it was that hurt you more- the fact that you let yourself become so vulnerable or of the consequences of mistakes that you never made. And if you find that all of this wasn't worth it, that it would have been better to let go and move on a long time ago, you've had your final blow.

I was once told that people come into other people's lives for a reason. And being the person I am, I've made sure to learn from every bitter experience that I've had to thorn my way out of. The only regret I have, is that some things change you for life, and I find myself changing into the person I never wanted to be, and whatever the reason be, I don't want to stop the change anymore.

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