Saturday, November 13, 2010

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Tonight, I write because I owe myself a few, last words that I shall dedicate to the past few months of my life, the person I had become, the person that I am now, the person I will always be, and the person I will sought to be.

I've changed. For the better I'd like to believe. Things that didn't matter before, have now found their place in my life.. a place I now respect. Emotions that didn't make sense a little less than a year back, are the very same ones that I now accept as a part of the many things I had to learn.

I've grown as a person. Or so I tell myself. I've learned to forgive if not forget. I've learned how to make sorrows worthy of that pain that they bring along with themselves. I've learned that there's no turning back.. even if you're not too far ahead. I've learned how to stand by the decisions I've made... even if they hurt too much. I've learned how to never stop myself from taking the risk. I've learned how to give myself a chance. I've learned how to give myself reasons that make sense and hear others out even when it's the last thing I want to do. I've learned how to remain silent and watch things take their natural course.

A part of me will never change. I won't let it. Because that part of me will always define the essence of the person I will always be.

I know what it feels like to lose the upper hand over people. I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. I know what it feels like to fight your conscience to do things you don't want to do. I know what it feels like to finally get the reasons your deserved. I know how it feels to finally be able to breathe again. I know how it feels to never regret decisions you've made... and to stick by that even when everything turns against you. 

As I try to fight the exhaustion which is persuading my mind to fall asleep whilst it is trying to finish what it wants me to pen down, I realize that at the end of the day, we all make the same mistakes, we all learn the same lessons in different ways...


Ve said...

True that! And the best part ( or worst, depending on how you view life) is that you never stop learning these lessons!! Life justs throws you a new situation or into a predicament when you least expect it, and you can choose to either get run over or adapt.

Welcome to the overhwhelming awareness of your own evolution! Choose to embrace it and grow... its gonna be a never-ending journey like no other!! :)

Anonymous said...

I want to hold you tight and hug you and tell you things eventually work out for the best. Its alright to go astray, but its not right to stay there even after you've realized that time is of essence.


nil said...

Beautiful shiv, just beautiful.
Is all.

Splatters Of Ink said...

Ve, you couldn't have said it better! =)

TBG, *hugs* =)

Nil, Thank You babe! =D