It's been months since I've LIKED a guy. The only reason why I've put that in bold is because, thinking about some other hot guy and obsessing over his amazingly good looks and talking about him to my girlfriends wasn't the plan for the past few months.I was FAR from getting attracted to the guys my friends talked about/obsessed over... Oh wait! Correction! LIGHT YEARS!
No, it's definitely not me to be like that. Considering my short attention span and my history with guys who I've lost interest in, in a couple of days... It's totally abnormal. Considering the fact that I've always been the kind of person to question someone who's been in a relationship for more than a couple of months and have been the one discouraging people who think they've found love.. Geez! I'm so afraid of commitment!
Well, that's not the point! It had been months since I'd felt something for a guy. And a couple of days ago, I felt a hint of the first few feelings that later on turn into something bigger. But in my case, they usually never get bigger than that. And well, though I know that the feeling isn't going to stay for too long, it simply feels good to be the old me again. I like texting him. I like talking about the most random shit everrr! I like NOT talking about serious issues.. Except for when he's absolutely sloshed and can't help but rant on about the most random shit ever.. with a hint of his post break up scene here and there. Yes, my luck to have a crush on a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend who he was in a relationship with for 20 months AND WHOSE NAME HE HAS ON HIS SHOULDER! YES, HE GOT HER NAME INKED ON HIMSELF! Sheesh!
Sometimes I feel people like doing the mistake of committing themselves to something they cannot keep up with or fulfill. Which is why I'm very open about the things I can or cannot handle. And so I don't find myself committing to one thing or anything for that matter very easily. But I can keep up with what I commit myself to. That I'm sure of.
You know, I've come to realize, life is all about the choices you make among the options you have. Options gives us the chance to be right or wrong.. our choices decide who we are.. whether WE'RE right or wrong. I've never really had to make a lot of choices in life. *Touchwood* But then again, I know I would never compromise on some things in life. I don't care what's at stake, but some things.. can NEVER be compromised on.
So right now, I like the feeling of liking someone. It isn't anything HUGE! That much I'll admit.. And I know that in a couple of days I'll be calling out "NEEEEEEEXT" but what the hell, Imma enjoy till it lasts... as long as it lasts! :D
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
I'm really sick..
I'm really sick of being told what to do.
I'm sick of people misunderstanding me.
I'm sick of getting into trouble.
I'm sick of people treating me like I don't know what I'm about.
I'm sick of trying to explain myself.
I'm sick of giving chances. I'm sick of not getting any myself.
I'm sick of people misunderstanding me.
I'm sick of getting into trouble.
I'm sick of people treating me like I don't know what I'm about.
I'm sick of trying to explain myself.
I'm sick of giving chances. I'm sick of not getting any myself.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Competition!
I don't know why I'm always competing with people who shouldn't bother me.
Sometimes, I like to ask myself, "Why is it about proving to the world, that if you've lost something good, you're worth a lot more and that you already have whatever it is that you're worth in your hands? Why is it always about being the one with the upper hand? Why is it about never giving in and fighting with others.. with yourself.. your conscience.. to reach the goal you've set for yourself.? Why is it about wanting people to look at you and know that you're not just another face.. that you're not forgettable? Why is it always about your EGO? Why can't you look past it for once.. for your own good? Why on earth does it matter to you that your rival walked two steps ahead of you overnight? Why do I make the mistakes I do? Why do I force myself to learn the lessons that I do?"
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NOTE : This is NOT for anyone in particular! The word "Rivals" was used generally for people I hate, and NOT people I don't know or DON'T hate!
Thank You,
Sometimes, I like to ask myself, "Why is it about proving to the world, that if you've lost something good, you're worth a lot more and that you already have whatever it is that you're worth in your hands? Why is it always about being the one with the upper hand? Why is it about never giving in and fighting with others.. with yourself.. your conscience.. to reach the goal you've set for yourself.? Why is it about wanting people to look at you and know that you're not just another face.. that you're not forgettable? Why is it always about your EGO? Why can't you look past it for once.. for your own good? Why on earth does it matter to you that your rival walked two steps ahead of you overnight? Why do I make the mistakes I do? Why do I force myself to learn the lessons that I do?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTE : This is NOT for anyone in particular! The word "Rivals" was used generally for people I hate, and NOT people I don't know or DON'T hate!
Thank You,
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
ATTENTION PLEASE!
If there's something that EVERYBODY knows about me, it's that I don't bitch behind people's backs. If I have something to say about you, I say it to you on your face, whether you like it or not. And I'm not afraid of admitting things I've said about people IF I've said those things, that is.
I do not bitch about people I don't know. I may know of you through others. You may have a bad reputation. But I don't form opinions based on what others think about you. I may not like the sound of someone. But at the same time, it doesn't mean I go about spreading bullshit I've only heard. That's NOT me. That's NEVER been me.
And yes, there have been people I've laughed at. There are people I hate. But if I hate you, you'll know. Not through others. Most definitely not. You'll know because I'll tell you on my own. I'll tell you what I think and why I hate you.
So those who have issues with me, who think I've been bitching about them, just know, that if I don't know you personally, I WILL NOT go about saying stuff. And those who know me, and still think I bitch about them, if you haven't heard it from me yet, then I haven't bitched about you. The day I bitch about someone I know, will be days after they know I absolutely LOATHE them.
Thank You.
I do not bitch about people I don't know. I may know of you through others. You may have a bad reputation. But I don't form opinions based on what others think about you. I may not like the sound of someone. But at the same time, it doesn't mean I go about spreading bullshit I've only heard. That's NOT me. That's NEVER been me.
And yes, there have been people I've laughed at. There are people I hate. But if I hate you, you'll know. Not through others. Most definitely not. You'll know because I'll tell you on my own. I'll tell you what I think and why I hate you.
So those who have issues with me, who think I've been bitching about them, just know, that if I don't know you personally, I WILL NOT go about saying stuff. And those who know me, and still think I bitch about them, if you haven't heard it from me yet, then I haven't bitched about you. The day I bitch about someone I know, will be days after they know I absolutely LOATHE them.
Thank You.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
And The Winter Sets In...
Someone very wise told me, "When you know things are too good to be true, they are."
The words keep echoing in my head, because it seems reality too can be a mirage of joy, that breathes life into your long lost belief in love, faith and happy endings. It is this joy that you lose to the touch of your heart, that stones the glass house your heart is and crumbles the little that you made yourself believe in, into pieces too tiny to ever find again. Hope and faith are like the ropes that pull your mind behind the walls of delusion, whose absence later on leaves you craving to find that long lost, misty dream that was the abode of your happier self...
As the skies above me finally stop crying, I can feel the chill in the air raise goosebumps on my skin..
And as the winter finally sets in, I feel the need for history to repeat itself! :)
The words keep echoing in my head, because it seems reality too can be a mirage of joy, that breathes life into your long lost belief in love, faith and happy endings. It is this joy that you lose to the touch of your heart, that stones the glass house your heart is and crumbles the little that you made yourself believe in, into pieces too tiny to ever find again. Hope and faith are like the ropes that pull your mind behind the walls of delusion, whose absence later on leaves you craving to find that long lost, misty dream that was the abode of your happier self...
As the skies above me finally stop crying, I can feel the chill in the air raise goosebumps on my skin..
And as the winter finally sets in, I feel the need for history to repeat itself! :)
That's how I like it!
"I'm not a book you're allowed to finish...
You're not allowed to know the contents of the pages, that hold who I really am.
Live with it because you'll never know what's going on in my mind.
That's how it's always been, and that's how I like it. So that's how it'll ALWAYS be."
P.S : It feels nice to know that people try and put an effort into figuring you out, because you know you're messing with their heads. Contrary to the fact that I'm very open and loud about my opinions, there are some things people barely realize. I constantly try reading people. I try to understand their way of thinking. And the opinions I form about them, always stay with me.
You're not allowed to know the contents of the pages, that hold who I really am.
Live with it because you'll never know what's going on in my mind.
That's how it's always been, and that's how I like it. So that's how it'll ALWAYS be."
P.S : It feels nice to know that people try and put an effort into figuring you out, because you know you're messing with their heads. Contrary to the fact that I'm very open and loud about my opinions, there are some things people barely realize. I constantly try reading people. I try to understand their way of thinking. And the opinions I form about them, always stay with me.
Friday, September 17, 2010
MY VERY FIRST BLOGGER AWARD!
FINALLY! :D
And as the rules go... I have to...
1. Thank the blogger who gave me the award...
Priyanka aka Purple Parrot, THANK YOU! :D
I think you're weird and that's precisely we get along! ;D
2. Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five words...
Life, Friends, Love, Craziness, Realizations...
3. Pass this on to 10 other bloggers that you feel have a substance in their blogs.
Hmmm.. Since I follow a number of good blogs...
1) ScribblersInc
2)Nil
3)Purple
4)TBG aka Desi Ghee and Coffee ( :D)
5)Crazy Diamond
6)Sensitive Chaos
7)Remya aka Impact-o-life
8)Sid Speakz
9)Buckingfastard
AND
10)Impasse
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Recognition wasn't going to change anything...
I had seen her a really long time ago. That was the only thing that I could force myself to think when I saw her today. Time had brought about the only thing it promised... A Change.. A Change that was like every other of its kind- always ready to lose itself into the only constancy of life, which I'd like to say is a series of Metamorphoses...
It wasn't the glint in her eyes or the frequency of that smile, on genuineness of them both that had changed. It wasn't the way she looked around, as if everything in this world, small or big, mattered.
It was the onset of the first few signs of age... Yet, unlike every other woman, she wore the early gray of her hair with pride.
I didn't dare approach her. I preferred that distant glance. Recognition wasn't going to change anything.
It wasn't the glint in her eyes or the frequency of that smile, on genuineness of them both that had changed. It wasn't the way she looked around, as if everything in this world, small or big, mattered.
It was the onset of the first few signs of age... Yet, unlike every other woman, she wore the early gray of her hair with pride.
I didn't dare approach her. I preferred that distant glance. Recognition wasn't going to change anything.
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